Choices, choices, and a million more choices.

We live in a world of endless options. We walk into a coffee shop and we are suddenly faced with different sizes, flavours, milks, toppings and syrups. You can have your coffee hot, iced, dairy-free, sugar-free and probably served in a cup that tells you something about your personality. At some point you just pick the regular order because having to choose and thinking about the possibility of regretting your choice, you rather choose to play it safe and order the regular.

And while some decisions feel insignificant, like whether to have coffee or tea, others can really keep us awake at three in the morning, replaying every possible outcome in our heads.

And guess what? Even reading this article was a choice. So congratulations, you’ve already made another one.

But beneath all these everyday choices, there are three rather uncomfortable truths about the choices we make.

Truth One: Choices Are Unavoidable

As society evolves and our lives become more complicated, the number of options available to us continues to grow. More opportunities, more information, more opinions and, of course, more menus with far too many choices.

We often assume that having more choices gives us more freedom. And it does, but it can also create more uncertainty. The more options we have, the more we worry about making the wrong one.

Sometimes, having no choice can actually be a relief. If there is only one path available, you do not have to spend hours wondering whether another path might have been better.

You can choose to give up, give in, or give it everything you've got. But whatever you decide, you are still choosing a direction. And here is the part we often forget: not choosing is also a choice.

Truth Two: Every Choice Has a Consequence

Every choice comes with a cost. Choosing one path means letting go of another. Saying yes to one opportunity may mean saying no to something else. Spending your time on one thing means you are not spending it somewhere else.

We are free to choose, but we are not free from the consequences of the choices we make.

That does not mean every choice needs to be perfect. In fact, that would be impossible. We all make mistakes and will occasionally look back and wonder, “What on earth was I thinking?”

But consequences are not always punishments. Sometimes they are lessons.

A wrong choice can teach us something that the right choice never could. It can reveal what matters, what does not, what we are capable of and what we should perhaps never do again.

The goal, therefore, is not to eliminate the possibility of making the wrong choice. It is to make the best choice we can with what we know at the time and then have the courage to take responsibility for it.

Truth Three: Your Choices Shape Your Life

The third truth is perhaps the most powerful and that is, our choices ultimately shape who we become.

We cannot always choose our circumstances. Life will sometimes make decisions for us. Things will happen that we did not ask for, plan for or deserve.

But even when we cannot choose what happens to us, we can choose what we do next.

We can choose how we see the situation. We can choose how we respond. We can choose whether to remain stuck or move forward. We can choose whether a difficult experience becomes our excuse or our lesson.

And if we want a different result, at some point we have to make a different choice.

That is the real power of choice. A seemingly small decision can change the direction of an entire life. One conversation. One opportunity. One decision to stay. One decision to leave. One decision to try again.

Every choice closes some doors, but it also opens others. And ultimately, we make our choices, and then our choices make us.

We will make good choices and bad choices. Some will bring success; others will bring lessons. Some will make perfect sense at the time and absolutely no sense five years later and that is life.

So perhaps the goal is not to always make the perfect choice. It is to make thoughtful choices, accept their consequences, learn from the ones that go wrong and have the courage to choose differently when necessary.

Because we cannot always choose what happens to us. But we can always choose what we do with it.

Life is full of choices. Choose wisely. And when you get it wrong, choose to learn.

Michelle van Dalen | Conveyancer

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